Admitting our mistakes – Why is it so hard?

“I’m only human”
Picture by Take a look through my kaleidoscope of flickr.com

It is very ironic to see us, so superb in spotting and criticizing the errors of others. But we often fail to see our own mistakes and make excuses when we do.

It is only that when we realize our wrongness that we respond to it. When we are wrong, we will feel a strong sense that we are right. It is very hard to say “I’m sorry. My mistake” because being right feels good, being wrong feels bad.

How does it feel to be wrong?
We may claim all these answers “Embarrassing”, “Look stupid”, “Annoying” or “Not macho.”

We love to live a life of illusions full of correctness. We love to be right, whether it’s producing a correct answer in a pop quiz, or debate or etc.

In the movie, Green Lantern directed by Martin Campbell, there is a part when Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) said “You know, we have a saying on Earth — we say: I’m only human.”

 “I’m only human”

Yeah. It can’t be denied that humans say that. But how many people do really understand what it takes to be a human and learn to admit their mistakes?

The slave of ego or the slave of Allah?

Egoism, pride and arrogance – there are all synonymous. Are these three words related to not admitting our mistakes?
Yes it does, literally.

Are they related to the saying “I’m only human.”
Yes it does, exactly.

If we submit ourselves to Allah, we will follow His orders by following the teachings of the prophet. But in contrast, if we enslave ourselves to egoism, pride and arrogance, we will adhere to what our inner desire says.

If only this world is filled with people who really understand “I’m only human”, this world would be a better place.

But no, this world is full of people who are arrogant and loud. Look at how many people who are so mad about power. Look at how many people, when they are corrected, they do not accept it but frame the person trying to correct them and to some extent, “they cut the tongues of those who speak the truth.”

When we give in to egoism, pride and arrogance, the devil inside us will enlarge. The shiny bright heart of ours will darken. What is left of us when we own a dark rusty heart? What is left for Allah?

Egoism, pride and arrogance vs humble

When we talk about egoism, pride and arrogance, it is not only about admitting our mistakes. But is more than that.

It is lowering our wings of power. We can fly, but we choose to descend. We need to train ourselves to be humble in all, to all people. We live to satisfy our need or to satisfy Allah’s need?

To know whether we have an ego problem or not, here are some basic tips. If somebody corrects you and you get really offended, I mean, really offended like:

“How can you say that to me, bro? Why would you say that to me?”
“Who’s that guy think he is correcting me like that?”

If this is your first reaction, than you have an ego problem. Even if that guy uses bad language (vulgar words) to correct you, your reaction shouldn’t be “Who is he to talk to me?”.

You know what your reaction should be? Feel this is your heart:

“Maybe through this inappropriate comment, Allah is telling me something that I should take head of”
“That comment may be 10% true, 5% true or even 1% true. Whatever it should be, I have to take it on myself”

Instead of worrying “Who is he to talk to me?”, don’t dwell on this attitude on ourselves, take the good or even bad advice, even a nasty comment. Take the good from it and leave the rest.

Ego, proud and arrogant people in the eyes of Allah

Allah has said many things about ego, proud and arrogant people in the Quran or from the hadith.

The people of Hell have always been the people of ego:

Narrated Haritha bin Wahb: Al-Khuzai: The Prophet said, “Shall I inform you about the people of Paradise? They comprise every obscure unimportant humble person, and if he takes Allah’s Oath that he will do that thing, Allah will fulfill his oath (by doing that). Shall I inform you about the people of the Fire? They comprise every cruel, violent, proud and conceited person.” Anas bin Malik said, “Any of the female slaves of Medina could take hold of the hand of Allah’s Apostle and take him wherever she wished.”[1]

Allah does not love proud/arrogant/ego people:

“Undoubtedly Allah doth know what They conceal, and what They reveal: Verily He loveth not the arrogant.” (An-Nahl: 23)

The arrogant people’s final abode is Hell:

“So enter the gates of Hell, to dwell therein. Thus evil indeed is the abode of the arrogant.” (An-Nahl: 29)

Conclusion: Steps of Firaun

We live to satisfy Allah, not our desires.

If we allow egoism, pride and arrogance to control our heart, we are as if following the steps of Abu Jahl. Who is Abu Jahl? He is the uncle of the prophet who is known as the Firaun during the time of the prophet Muhammad.

Abu Jahl was a very arrogant person, even at his death time:

Narrated Abdullah: That he came across Abu Jahl while he was on the point of death on the day of Badr. Abu Jahl said, “You should not be proud that you have killed me nor I am ashamed of being killed by my own folk.” [2]

Even when his death time, he kept on showing his arrogance, he was killed by a little boy!

Now learn to only take the good and leave the rest.

Learn to lower your wings of ego.

Learn to become humble in all.

Do we want to follow the steps of this Firaun?